Thursday, 31 December 2009

Best Wishes For 2010

Right, I'm off to get pissed. Enjoy yourselves and don't do anything I wouldn't!!!

Saturday, 26 December 2009

The Bansturbators Are Out Early This Year


A free quit-smoking kit has been launched, as research shows almost half of smokers in England have resolved to quit in the new year.

Public Health Minister Gillian Merron said: "Stopping smoking is hard - it takes a lot of effort and willpower.

"At any time around seven out of 10 smokers actually want to quit smoking.

"The government has worked with experts and smokers to create a tailored set of tools to help everyone who wants to quit."


Gillian, you aren't welcome here so fuck off.


Simon Clark, director of the smokers' lobby group Forest, said: "Another day, another quit smoking campaign.

"You would think the government would give it rest - but they can't resist the lure of another initiative, even over Christmas.

"How much money is the quit kit costing the taxpayer? If people choose to stop smoking that's a matter for them, not the government.

"This is yet another example of the nanny state reaching into our homes through television advertising and other intrusive measures."

"People are getting heartily sick of the use of children of smokers in quit-smoking advertisements.

"Trying to make smokers feel guilty about their habit is a form of moral blackmail and it is quite wrong to use children in this way."




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Saturday, 28 November 2009

Give GOT A Hand!

Pissed off with all the guilt that the Warmists are dishing out?
Turn the tables on them with a Grumpy Old Twat original poster and share the love.

Friday, 27 November 2009

Friday, 20 November 2009

Most Wanted


And for crimes against vocabulary.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Dear Mr Reaper

Dear Grim Reaper,

So far this year you have taken away my favourite dancer: Michael Jackson, my favourite actor: Patrick Swayze, my favourite singer: Stephen Gately and my favourite actress: Farah Fawcett.

Just so you know, my favourite politician is Gordon Brown.

Warm Regards,

Lawson Narse.
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Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Listen Dave.

Do you get the message now Dave?
Still planning on becoming Prime Minister?

Gordon Brown Fans.

A teacher asked her class how many of them were Gordon Brown fans.

Not really knowing what a Brown fan is, but wanting to be liked by
the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little
Johnny..

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be
different...again.

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a Brown fan.'

The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you a Brown fan?'

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Conservative.'

The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Conservative and my Dad's a
Conservative, so, I'm a Conservative.'

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your mom was a moron
and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, 'A Gordon Brown fan.'
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Sunday, 15 November 2009

Labour is well funny Innit!

The original wasn't silly enough Mandy, so I added a little touch of realism to it.

This is more like it though. Bit closer to the truth eh?
Fucking Pillocks.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

There Are Times When...............

.........It's best to say nothing Gordon.
Ooops, too late.




Today the Sun is embroiled in a new row with Downing Street after publishing the transcript of a phone call Brown made to Jacqui Janes, the mother of a British soldier who died in Afghanistan last month, trying to placate her over his handwritten letter of condolence that misspelt her name.

"Rupert Murdoch says prime minister is a friend, but his government has been a disappointment"
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Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Tomorrow Could Be Interesting.


I had hoped to be joining Old Holborn on his peregrination tomorrow. Unfortunately I have to be elsewhere. Others appear to have arranged get togethers around Parliament as well, so it it could be an interesting day for the 646!

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Arithmetic For Recalcitrant MPs


Stop fucking bleating about how unfair it all is. Fair would be your arrest, full cavity body search, DNA swabs and fingerprints taken, charged, remanded in custody and then to stand trial.

Monday, 12 October 2009

Smith Apologetic Over Expenses.

Ex Home Sec Says She's Sorry.

Cunt

At least Mr Brown is paying money back. Jacqui Smith yesterday gave only an apology, and a mealy-mouthed one at that, after the Standards and Privileges Committee castigated her for wrongly designating the room she occupied in her sister's London house as her principal residence.

Miss Smith will not have to reimburse a penny of the £120,000 claimed over a four-year period beyond the several hundred pounds she has already repaid to cover claims for films watched by her husband


The committee's pusillanimous response will do nothing to persuade an already cynical public that MPs recognise and understand why they feel so aggrieved.

Some MPs are even considering legal action to avoid being forced to repay money. But the rules clearly stated that an allowance was payable to reimburse MPs for "costs properly incurred in the performance of their duties" and not, as many seemed to believe, as a tax-free opportunity to enhance their incomes. Until they understand there is a moral dimension to this affair, it will continue to haunt this wretched parliament all the way to the election.

GOT is having a Jacqui Smith Cunting Night at his place

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In The Bansturbator's Den.

CiF

Tomorrow, [TODAY]the House of Commons will see the third and final reading of the Health Bill. I believe MPs must support the clause that would ensure that cigarettes being sold in shops must be stored out of sight, though I'm puzzled and concerned as to why so many seem reluctant to back this move.

Ending point-of-sale displays in this way is an excellent idea and necessary. Whether by accident or design, the primary colours used on both the outside of cigarette packets and the shelves they are kept on attract children. It's the same marketing technique that is used with confectionery.

Tobacco companies can't be trusted to make cigarette packets a colour that doesn't work in this way, so they should be put out of sight. This is very important because most smokers get hooked as teenagers – few start at 18 – so if we can stop children being addicted tobacco companies will soon run out of customers.

The government's "de-normalisation" of tobacco is welcome, but it's taking too long. The Health Bill proposes to restrict cigarette-vending machines in pubs. But they should be banned altogether. Even smokers don't like them, because they typically give you only 16 cigarettes instead of a normal packet of 20 and cost £6, about £1 more than in the shops. And many pub landlords think the government's halfway-house proposals are unworkable because bar staff would have to check people's age ID before operating the machine by remote control.


Who the fuck elected you to interefere in other peoples lives?


Nod and a wink to Man Widdecombe


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Thursday, 8 October 2009

Same Meat, Different Gravytrain

Gerald Warner:
What we saw was what we got; and what we got was the Heir of Blair. As Daniel Hannan pointed out, only one-third of the audience was composed of Tories – or, at least, nominal Conservatives of the Cameronian stamp.

Saturday, 3 October 2009

It Ain't (quite) Over Yet.


Irish voters have strongly endorsed the European Union's Lisbon Treaty - 16 months after their first vote rejecting it plunged EU reforms into deadlock.

About 67% voted "Yes", official results from the latest referendum showed.

Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen hailed a "clear and resounding" endorsement.

Meanwhile, back in the real world:

H/T Calling England



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Friday, 2 October 2009

Labour Still Not Getting It.

From John Cowan, Labour's Parliamentary candidate in South East Cambridgeshire who posted this on Labourspissed :

One possible solution could be an entitlement card that people would carry and swipe when every time they buy Alcohol or Tobacco and record their usage. Is that too radical? I don't think so. For a long time the Government have controlled motorists with a system of licences where people enjoy the right and freedom to drive - as long as they conform to certain rules.

With the card, people who got into trouble for, say, minor crimes or drunk and disorderly conduct in public would receive a fixed penalty notice and 3 points on their entitlement card with points disappearing over time for in the same way works on driving licences.

More serious offences would result in endorsements on the entitlement card and the cardholder would not be able to purchase alcohol, tobacco or other drugs available for sale through the entitlement card scheme.

The main benefits of the policy would be reduction in the health care and crime costs associated with use of substances hopefully leading for more better functioning society.

John, the electorate have fucking had enough of fuckwits and their cuntitudinous idealism, coupled with their almost pathological need to interfere in anything that has fuck all to do with them, it has become so offensive that Labour is about to disappear forever.

So (deep breath) FUCK OFF AND MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, YOU INSIGNIFICANT, SHITHEADED, DIVOT.

Please read the comments left at Old Holborn's place for further reasons why you should fuck off John.

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Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Labour Losing It.






Guido.

and

Sky News Full Interview With Postal Brown


Relations between Rupert Murdoch's News International and the government disintegrated today during 24 hours of recriminations over the move by its flagship paper, the Sun, to switch allegiance to the Conservatives.

Gordon Brown moved quickly to deny any political damage, saying: "It is the people who decide elections." But on one occasion the prime minister was clearly tested, tearing at his ear piece when he made an irritated and overly hasty departure from one TV interview, prompting aides to clarify later it had not been an angry "walkout".

Tony Woodley, joint leader of the Unite union, was cheered as he used a speech to the conference hall to rip up a copy of that morning's edition, while Labour's deputy leader Harriet Harman told the conference hall Labour would not be "bullied" by the paper.

Lord Mandelson, the business secretary, told News International's chief executive, Rebekah Brooks, on the phone on Tuesday night: "You will be regarded as a bunch of chumps, we will not lose sleep over this." Earlier reports said Mandelson had used an expletive beginning with C, but Brooks is said to have rung the business secretary to confirm he called her a "chump".




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Beyond Delusional


Gordon has been lifting policy from other parties again.

"From now on all 16 and 17 year old parents who get support from the taxpayer will be placed in a network of supervised homes. These shared homes will offer not just a roof over their heads, but a new start in life where they learn responsibility and how to raise their children properly.
"

As Guido has pointed out this is just BNP LITE policy.

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Labour is dying.

This conference seems to be more about getting the party used to a Labour defeat, than winning a further term in office.
The 0% party with a 0% leader and 0% chance.
Go4th? Cum3rd and win a teapot more likely.





Monday, 28 September 2009

Delusion and Denial in Brighton

Peter wants a job with Dave, Gordon isn't unwell and Ali is still his Darling.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Gordon is Home.


America may think you're great Gordon but your homeys think your a twat apparently.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

Some advice Gordon.

When in a hole, it is often a good idea to stop digging.
In your case however, please feel free to ignore the above.

Carry on now.

Brown Out of Favour With Obama.

Brown repeatedly snubbed by Obama as "Special Relationship" all but disappears over Libya dispute.

"British officials made five attempts to secure official talks with the US President and even agreed to a policy change in an attempt to land a joint appearance between the two leaders, said diplomatic sources.

But the White House rebuffed the offers and Mr Brown, who had hoped to increase his popularity by appearing on his own with Mr Obama, had to settle instead for a snatched conversation with the President in a New York kitchen."


You are a fucking embarrassment, you jaw droppingly stupid, desperate for a photo opp, pant pissing, has been.



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Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Justice, Scotland Stylee.

Click Da Pic For Da Strait Dope Innit.

The Justice Awards were established by the Attorney General, the Rt. Hon Baroness Scotland of Asthal QC, then Minister of State for the Home Office in 2004. The Justice Awards were established by the Attorney General, the Rt. Hon Baroness Scotland of Asthal QC, then Minister of State for the Home Office in 2004.

For years petty regulations have been tripping up millions of law-abiding people.

Now it’s their chance to snigger!




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Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Soon Be Over Gordon


Gordon Brown was last night warned Labour must return to its traditional left-wing values to have any chance of winning the next election.

MP Jon Cruddas said the party was in despair with power fading fast.

"A sense of loss pervades the party. Not just of power sliding away, but a more profound loss, one relating to our essential mission, our very identity. We have lost our language, our empathy our generosity because we have retreated into a philosophical framework of the right. It is only by returning to our traditions and radicalism that we can confront this dangerous force. We can still win."
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Monday, 7 September 2009

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