Control by Database.

Cluster Fuck One:

Ministry of Justice IT project that is three years overdue and double its original cost has been condemned as a “masterclass” of sloppy Government management. 

Now, instead of one system - the cost of which has more than doubled to £513 million - there are to be five as the ministry attempts to cut the costs of the C-Nomis programme. 

The system(s) were intended to give prison and probation officers real-time access to offenders' records, but now will only be available for use by the prison service.

Edward Leigh, chairman of the Commons Public Accounts Committee, called the National Offender Management Service (NOMS) project a “spectacular failure” and a “masterclass in sloppy project management”.

He said: “Following blunder after blunder by senior managers, the programme clocked up delays of three years and forecast project costs had trebled.” 

He added: “All of this mess could have been avoided if good practice in project management had been followed.” The system was intended to support the service's management of criminals in prison and after their release. Officers would have been able to see offenders' records, what courses they had done in jail to tackle their behaviour and what further work was needed. 

Cluster Fuck Two:

Known as e-borders, the system will eventually track 250 million journeys annually. 

"Passengers leaving every international sea port, station or airport will have to supply detailed personal information as well as their travel plans. So-called "booze cruisers" who cross the Channel for a couple of hours to stock up on wine, beer and cigarettes will be subject to the rules."

The new checks are being introduced piecemeal by the UK Border Agency. By the end of the year 60 per cent of journeys made out of Britain will be affected with 95 per cent of people leaving the country being subject to the plans by the end 2010. 

Plenty of scope there for the finest of fuckups. Data loss between departments, ID mismatches, system failures, keyboard errors, etc, etc, etc.

Currently passports are not checked as a matter of routine when people leave the country. 

Exit controls for departure to other countries within the European Union were scrapped by the last Conservative Government. The rest were scrapped by Jack Straw, when he became Home Secretary, after Labour won the election in 1997.

And that is the real purpose of this egregious attempt at control. Our Glorious Leaders don't want us to escape their clutches. It has nothing to do with controlling the numbers entering the Country illegally.

Gwyn Prosser, Labour MP for Dover and a member of the all-party Home Affairs Select Committee, said: "I think e-borders are absolutely necessary," he said. "Governments of all complexions have always been criticised for not knowing who is in the country. This is a very sophisticated way of counting people in and out." 

You still won't know you twat, criminals aren't as thick as you appear to be. They aren't going to tell you they are fleeing the Country. It does however mean that you will be able to prevent honest people from leaving this shithole of your making.

A UK Border Agency spokesman defended the e-borders scheme. "It allows us to secure the UK's Borders by screening people as they travel in and out of the UK. 

"The e-Borders scheme has already screened over 82m passengers travelling to Britain, leading to more than 2,900 arrests, for crimes including murder, drug dealing and sex offences. e-borders helps the police catch criminals attempt to escape justice."

That is a detection rate of 0.0035%,  so it's a bloody big, expensive, failure you  fuckwit. If, that is, you still believe crime detection is its real purpose.



  1. When will this ever end. How many bilions, pissed up the wall by this lot, has been pure common sense free urine? Note how quickly they can crack loss of freedom data bases.

  2. You mention keyboard errors. Don't talk to me about keyboard errors. My name is frequently misspelled by keyboard operators. Once it resulted in me being sent a summons to appear in court on a charge of driving without a licence because the arseholes at the DVLA or the Police couldn't spell.

    It's not that easy to prove it either. Once they have decided you are to blame, it takes an awful lot of messing about to present evidence to the contrary.

    If they had thought about keeping the undesirables out of the country in the first place, this wouldn't even be on the table.

  3. Good to see the Commons Public Accounts Committee giving Jack a good kicking but Edward Leigh had best join the not going for lonely walks crowd.
    I've got a better idea than e-borders; man asks you for a valid travel document. Checks if it is real then lets you in, otherwise, "fuck-offsky".

    And another thing, they ask for your travel plans and you say " Well I was thinking of maybe getting to Amersterdam, or maybe Naples and then kinda see where life takes me " ?


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