Monday, 14 June 2010

The Righteous Won't Get It.

First came this:
Unhealthy living is almost universal in Scotland, with virtually everyone in the country putting themselves at risk, according to a study.
Glasgow University researchers analysed data from 6,574 people who took part in the 2003 Scottish Health Survey.
They identified five factors which contributed most to disease in richer countries - smoking, drinking, poor diet, physical inactivity and obesity.
The report found that 97% of Scots had at least one of the risk factors. 

Then along came  Barry O'Barmy, King of all the Most Righteous with this:


Click on image to go large with extra fries

So I thought a parable was in order to demonstrate how real people think. And why, the Righteous, will fail in the endeavours.

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years.  Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside.  He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath.  A maid could be seen hanging their favourite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven.  This will be your home now.’
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.  ‘Why, nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in Heaven..’
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
‘What are the greens fees?,’ grumbled the old man.
‘This is heaven,’ St. Peter replied.  ‘You can play for free, every day.’
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
‘Don’t even ask,’ said St. Peter to the man..  This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.’
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,’ he asked.
That’s the best part,’ St. Peter replied..  ‘You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.  This is Heaven!’
The old man pushed, ‘No gym to work out at?’
‘Not unless you want to,’ was the answer.
‘No testing my sugar or blood pressure or….’
‘Never again.  All you do here is enjoy yourself.’
The old man glared at his wife and said, ‘You and your flipping bran flakes.  We could have been here ten years ago!’
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2 comments:

  1. As someone in the Telegraph pointed, everyone tries to make themselve look good in surveys so it won't be 97% but 100% in reality.
    That's if you believe that 3 pints a day makes you a "binge drinker" and that the body mass index gives you a true picture of obesity and if this years definition of 'poor diet' is the same as last years and if you believe that if you don't go runnubf four miles pointlessly you will drop dead of " physical inactivity ".

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, yes, Lawson, it's not that you live any longer under socialism - it just feels like you do!

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