Barack Obama is visiting an Edinburgh hospital

He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or
He greets one.

The patient replies: "Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye tak' yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
Weel are ye worthy o' a Grace, as langs my airm."

Obama is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.
The next patient responds:
"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Good Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the President moves
on to the next patient,
who immediately begins to chant:
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timorous beasty,
O whit a panic's in thy breasty,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Obama turns to the accompanying doctor and
asks, 'Is this a psychiatric ward?'
'No,' replies the doctor, 'this is the serious Burns unit'.


  1. Ha Ha, Burns Unit, I like it.
    I was once with friends in a bar in Fort William, we were approached rather aggresivly by a local chap speaking in a similarly difficult dialect.
    All we managed to make out was " Ah'm Scorttish, Ah get paid weekly ! " which seemed somehow to prove his point.

  2. I have the same problem trying to understand Cockney wankers.

  3. Conan The Librarian, Cockerny Wankers perhaps ?

  4. Ah.That makes it all cle-ahhh,F'fack'sake,cant.

    Was that linguistically correct IEBOC?

  5. I dunno, turn your back for five minutes and an outbreak of Eastenders happens!

  6. " Flippin 'eck Tucker, leave it aht!"
    " Piss off Benji, ya nonce "


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