Bob the Blob Ainsworth.
Ainsworth according to Wikipedia.
Enhance your CV Bob by spending a week in Afghanistan with the boys on the front line. Take a few trips out in those well protected vehicles you so kindly provided.
Whats that? Bollocks you say? Not much changes does it your self-serving cunt.
In January 2008 he was recorded by Hansard as saying "absolute bollocks" in Parliament during a complaint about soldiers' equipment. This was later struck from the record after analysis of recordings of the debate could not establish that the remark was made.
Ainsworth is one of the 98 MPs who voted to keep their expense details secret. In 2007-8, he claimed the maximum permissible amount of £23,083 for second-home allowances, making him the joint highest claimant.
He has been criticized for alleged excessive claims for repairs to his second home.
On 5 June 2009 he was appointed to the cabinet by Gordon Brown as Secretary of State for Defence, replacing John Hutton.  He is the first Labour cabinet minister for over 40 years to have two bollocks.The Above from Wikipedia.
You going to hop the next one out to unfriendly territory then Bob? They might appreciate you more over there. I mean you can always put it on your expenses. No-one will know, because they're a big bloody secret, aren't they you fat bastard trougher.